00550--Mulla Nasruddin Stories-14

Once Mulla Nasruddin's child asked him, 'Gee Dad, what is this education stuff? Of what use is all this education stuff anyway?'

Nasruddin said, 'Well, there is nothing like education. It makes you capable of worrying about everybody else in the world except you.'

00549--Mulla Nasruddin Stories-13

RATIONALIZATION

Mulla Nasruddin became very aged; he attained one hundred years. A reporter came to see him, because he was the oldest citizen around those parts. The reporter said, 'Nasruddin, there are a few questions I would like to ask. One is, do you think you will be able to live a hundred years more?'

Nasruddin said, 'Of course, because a hundred years ago I was not so strong as I am now.' A hundred years before, he was a child, just born, so he said: 'A hundred years ago I was not so strong as I am now, and if a small child, helpless, weak, could survive for a hundred years, why shouldn't I?'

00548--Mulla Nasruddin Stories-12

I heard Mulla Nasruddin once. He was delivering a political speech.

He Said, 'It is with some trepidation that I address an audience of people all of whom are smarter than I am... all of them put together, that is.'

00547--Mulla Nasruddin Stories-11

 Once it happened, a friend of Mulla Nasruddin was talking to Mulla Nasruddin. They had met after many -- years. Both were bitter rivals; both were poets. Both started to boast about the progress they had made in their careers.

'You have no idea, Nasruddin, how many people read my poetry now,' bragged the friend. 'My readers have doubled.'

'My God, my God!' cried Nasruddin. 'I had no idea you got married!'

00546--Mulla Nasruddin Stories-10

Mulla Nasruddin visited this store recently. He found rare tropical fruits from the jungles of South America and many strange delicacies from Africa and the Middle East.

In one corner he found a counter with several trays of human brains. There were politicians' brains at $1 per pound, engineers' brains at $2 per pound, and there was one tray Of saints' brains at $50 per pound.

Since all the brains looked very much alike, he asked the man behind the counter, "Why do you charge so much more for the saints' brains?"

The man peered out from behind his glasses and answered, "Do you have any idea how many saints we have to go through to get a pound of brains?"

00545--Mulla Nasruddin Stories-9

The old Mulla Nasruddin had become a very rich man. When he felt death approaching he decided to make some arrangements for his funeral, so he ordered a beautiful coffin made of ebony wood with satin pillows inside. He also had a beautiful silk caftan made for his dead body to be dressed in.

The day the tailor delivered the caftan, Mulla Nasruddin tried it on to see how it would look, but suddenly he exclaimed, "What is this! Where are the pockets?"

00544--Mulla Nasrudin Stories-8

Mulla Nasrudin was talking to a woman and saying great things,  was getting very romantic. He was saying, "Your eyes -- never, never have they happened before. And your face -- it is just like the moon. And the glow that surrounds you, and the vibe that you create -- it is the most beautiful thing that has ever happened." And he went on and on.

And, of course, as women are very practical, the woman asked, 

"Are you going to marry me, Nasrudin?"

Nasrudin said, "Please, don't change the subject!"

00543--Mulla Nasrudin Stories-7

A habitual drunk staggered up to the front door of a home late one night, and kept rapping loudly until a lady in pyjamas came to answer.

 "Par'n me, ma'am," he lushes, "this is an emergency. Can you tell me where Mulla Nasrudin lives?" 

"Why," she exclaimed, "you are Mulla Nasrudin yourself!"

 "I know, I know," he replied, "but that still doesn't answer the question -- where does he live?"

00542--Mulla Nasrudin Stories-6

A habitual drunk staggered up to the front door of a home late one night, and kept rapping loudly until a lady in pyjamas came to answer.

"Par'n me, ma'am," he lushes, "this is an emergency. Can you tell me where Mulla Nasrudin lives?"

"Why," she exclaimed, "you are Mulla Nasrudin yourself!"

"I know, I know," he replied, "but that still doesn't answer the question -- where does he live?"

00541--Mulla Nasrudin Stories-5

Mulla Nasrudin listened very attentively while a stranger told a long story in the coffee-house. But the man spoke so indistinctly and muffed his punchline so badly that the story was not funny at all, and except for the Mulla no one laughed. But the Mulla laughed heartily.

"Why did you laugh, Nasrudin?" I asked him afterwards when the stranger had left.

"I always do," replied Nasrudin. "If you don't laugh, there is always the danger of their telling it over again."

00540--Mulla Nasrudin Stories-4

Money matters

Mulla Nasrudin's daughter came home and she said she was pregnant and the richest man of the town was the father of the unborn child. Mulla Nasrudin was, of course, mad. He rushed with his gun towards the rich man's house; he forced the rich man into a corner and said, "Now you can breathe your last, or if you have any prayer to say to God, say it!"

The rich man smiled and he said, "Listen, before you do anything neurotic. Yes, I know your daughter is pregnant by me -- but if a boy is born I have kept one lakh rupees in the bank for the boy. If a daughter is born I have kept fifty thousand rupees in the bank for the daughter."

Mulla took his gun away and said, "Sir, if something goes wrong, if there is a miscarriage or something, are you ready to give her another chance?"

00539--Mulla Nasrudin Stories-3

Problem solving

When the pain in Mulla Nasrudin's back became unbearable, he reluctantly went to a specialist to diagnose his problem.

"Well," said the doctor, "your problem can be cured by an operation, two weeks in the hospital and six months totally horizontal."

"Doctor, I can't afford the cost of all that!" shouted Nasrudin.

"Well then, for twenty-five rupees I can retouch the X-ray," suggested the doctor.

00538--Mulla Nasrudin Stories-2

As a pretty girl passed by, Mulla Nasrudin turned to look. 

His wife said with a pout, "Every time you see a pretty girl you forget you are married."                      

"That's where you are wrong," said the Mulla. "Nothing makes me more aware of the fact!"

00537--Mulla Nasrudin Stories-1

1.       The limit of madness

Mulla Nasrudin's wife was dying, and of course he was consoling her in every way, and the wife opened her eyes and said, "It seems almost certain that this night will be my last. I will not be able to see the sunrise again. Mulla, how will you react to my death?"

The Mulla said, "How will I react to your death? I will go mad!"

Even in that serious moment the wife started laughing: she said, "You cunning fellow. You will not go mad. I know within a week you will be remarried."

And Mulla said, "No. I will go mad -- but I will not go THAT mad."

00536--Vocabulary test 2

 Match the column A with B

A	B
1.       Entomology	a.       Physical structure
2.       Eccentricity	b.      Summary, representation of the whole
3.       Anatomy	c.       Science of the meanings and effects of words
4.       Dichotomy	d.      Linguistics
5.       Epitome	e.      Science dealing with insects
6.       Philology	f.        Science of social structures and customs
7.       semantics	g.       charitable works
8.       sociology	h.      that which causes sexual arousal
9.       aphrodisiac	i.         strangeness; oddness
10.   philanthropy	j.        condition or state of being split into two

                  

               

  1 = e , 2 = i , 3 = a , 4 = j , 5 = b , 6 = d , 7 = c , 8 = f , 9 = h , 10 = g

00535--Who is Baul?

                                                       Who is Baul?

Once upon a time, an angel came to earth to see man and his world, because he had heard so many stories of man's splendor that he could not resist his curiosity. The beauty of the world overwhelmed him: the sunlit mountain peaks and dark forests, the whining winds and tossing, rainbow-colored valleys, the dew-kissed soil, the soil's lusty smell, the animals, fierce and gentle. Everywhere there was such beauty. But when the angel saw man he was awed, for he heard the music of the human heart and the song of the human soul. He fell in deep love with human mystery. Dusk came, but he lingered on. Man and man's earth had so moved the angel that he hesitated to leave. But finally, his time finished, he had to go with tears in his eyes.

And tremendously encircled, enriched by this adventure on the earth, by this experience, before going out, before going back to his own world, just out of sheer joy he wanted to help some of us on our way. He looked about, saw four persons walking together. He approached them and said, "I have come to grant you each one wish." As luck would have it, they all were spiritual aspirants.

The first one spoke up, "I have striven incessantly after distant divine truth -- nothing but struggle, struggle, struggle. Give me spiritual peace!"

"But struggling is one of the joys of life," said the angel, not understanding the first seeker's wish.

"I would like peace!" insisted the man.

This being his wish, the angel changed the youth into a cow that chewed the grass of a distant pasture

quite contentedly.

A bit disturbed, the angel turned to the other aspirant.

"God is pure but I am not," said the other. "Please rid me of all impurities, of passions, emotions, desires."

"Are not they the very fount of life?" asked the angel.

"But I don't want life, I want purity!" insisted the second man. He then closed his eyes and waited for his transformation. In a split second he disappeared, and in a faraway temple, a marble statue appeared in his likeness.

Then the third one said, "Make me perfect; anything less will simply not do." He vanished but did not

reappear anywhere, for nothing on earth is perfect or can be perfect.

The angel turned to the fourth, "And what is your wish?"

"I have no wish," replied this happy man.

"No wish at all?"

"None -- except to be human, fully human and alive."

A near-smothered joy began again to stir within the angel. He looked longingly upon this blessed man, and then leaned over and embraced him with a deep love. The fourth man continued on his way singing the glory of life, dancing the joy of life.

This fourth man is the Baul.

00534--Vocabulary Test 1

Match the column A with B.

A	B
1.  Taciturn	a.  Chattering meaninglessly
2.       Laconic	b.            Wordy
3.  Inarticulate	c.    Hackneyed, unoriginal
4.    Garrulous	d.         Fluent and rapid
5.        Banal	e.            Noisy, loud
6.      Verbose	f.   Spluttering unintelligibly
7.       Voluble	g.             Talkative
8.       Cogent	h.            Persuasive
9. Vociferous	i.     Unwilling to engage  in conversation
10.  loquacious	j.           using few words  packed with meaning

ANSWER KEY

1 = i , 2 = j , 3 = f , 4 = a , 5 = c , 6 = b , 7 = d , 8 = h , 9 = e , 10 = g

00533--THE PHILOSOPHY OF PYTHAGORAS

THE PHILOSOPHY OF PYTHAGORAS

NAME OF THE PHILOSOPHER	Pythagoras
BRANCH	Metaphysics
APPROACH	Pythagoreanism
PHILOSOPHY	1.      Everything in the universe conforms to mathematical rules and ratios.    2.       So if we understand number and mathematical relationships we come to understand the structure of the cosmos. 3.          Mathematics is the key model for philosophical thought. 4.       Number is the ruler of forms. 5.       Number is the ruler of ideas.
GIST	Number is the ruler of forms. Number is the ruler of ideas.
KEY WORKS	**********
QUOTES	1.      “There is geometry in the humming of the strings, there is music in the spacing of the spheres.” 2.      “Reason is immortal, all else is mortal.”

00532--THE PHILOSOPHY OF JOHN RAWLS

THE PHILOSOPHY OF JOHN RAWLS

NAME OF THE PHILOSOPHER	JOHN RAWLS
BRANCH	POLITICAL PHILOSOPHY
APPROACH	SOCIAL CONTRACT THEORY
PHILOSOPHY	1.      We all want to further our own interests 2.      To do this we need to work together 3.      This requires rules 4.      Rules that are fair and just must apply equally to all, ignoring social status. 5.      The principles of justice should be chosen behind a veil of ignorance.
GIST	The principles of justice should be chosen behind a veil of ignorance.
KEY WORKS	1971 A Theory of Justice 1993 Political Liberalism 1999 The Law of Peoples 2000 Lectures on the History of Moral Philosophy 2001 Justice as Fairness: A Restatement